


remnants of you

by boobop (smacklig_maltid)



Series: haikyuu shorts [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Grief/Mourning, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:26:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25991308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smacklig_maltid/pseuds/boobop
Summary: One moment you were a living breathing person, the next…you weren’t. He’s frantically searching anything that you’ve left behind, anything that could make up for your absence. The pitter patter of little feet remind him that he’s already found what’s been looking for.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Series: haikyuu shorts [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886323
Comments: 2
Kudos: 72





	remnants of you

As the door shut and closed behind him, Oikawa found himself at a loss of what to do. The walk home was just his brain on auto-pilot, the suffocating reality weighing heavily on his chest.

_It wasn’t fair._

Maybe he shouldn’t have gone home. The house was full of memories of you, his memories _with_ you. _Fuck_ , the glass of water he had brought to you this morning sat on the coffee table, unfinished. The blue and white pillows you had picked out a few months ago were placed against the left arm of the sofa from where you had fallen asleep with him the night before while watching a movie. Your fluffy slippers that you had carelessly kicked off of your feet outside of the bathroom glared at him almost mockingly, and your jacket still hung over the back of the dining chair, your note cards were still spread out on the dining table, your last words still echoing through his head, your cries were still ringing in his ears, and the warmth of your hands still lingered on his own.

The house felt so alive, almost as if you were just sitting in the bedroom, quietly scrolling through your phone while you waited for him to scoop you into his arms. The deafening silence clawed at him, begging to be broken.

His wandering gaze fell upon the children’s book sitting on the floor, the page opened to the owner’s favourite page, and his heart ached with the kind of pain he had never felt before.

_How do you even explain this to a child?_ His mind screamed. This wasn’t something he should have to think about - _this wasn’t something he thought he’d need to know when he became a parent._

Before he allowed his grief to completely swallow him up, he took a deep breath and reminded himself that his daughter came first. Not him, _her_. With one last sweeping glance of the living room, he threw on his coat and slammed the door shut.

-

“ _You’re lying_!” The little girl screeched, throwing her arms against her father’s chest, her head thrown back as she let out more screams. “Stop lying, let me see mommy, _I want mommy_!”

Oikawa remained silent, allowing his daughter to let out all the screams and cries she wanted, taking every hit from her without the tiniest bit of irritation. Iwaizumi watched from the side, his head hung low as he watched the sad scene, a deep sense of sorrow for his friend.

“ _Please_ , just let me see her,” she whined, curling her arms around her father’s neck and burying her face underneath his chin, snot and tears running down her face. Oikawa bit his cheeks, fighting so hard to push down the tears threatening to overflow. He couldn’t let her down, he had to stay strong for the both of them.

“I’m so sorry, little angel,” he murmured, rubbing her back in an attempt to soothe her. “ _I’m so sorry_.”

-

Months have passed, and the pain hasn’t subsided at all, no, it just felt _worse_. He felt incredibly stupid. The first night he came home without you, the reminders of you were _killing_ him - but now, he wished he hadn’t cleaned the house. He wished for some sort of sign that you were here, and it felt like there was nothing left. Your scent had faded from your clothes, the last of your favourite biscuits had gone bad and he had Iwaizumi throw them out for him, and the bedroom now lacked the little things that made it _yours_. The drawers were no long left open just the slightest bit, your makeup hadn’t been moved around on top of the dresser, your socks weren’t rolled up at the end of the bed - it was just his room now.

With all the tugging he did to his hair he was surprised that he wasn’t bald yet. Books, clothes, pictures - a mess of your belongings were scattered all over the floor as he searched for something, _anything_ that could give him some sort of comfort.

_It wasn’t fair._

All the happy memories were too painful to smile at. His heartbreak felt endless.

“Daddy?” A soft, concerned little voice called out to him.

Oikawa swung around in surprise. There his little girl stood, her teddy bear in one hand just barely touched the ground, and her other hand was rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

“What are you doing?” She asked him, breaking him completely out of his trance.

Guilt, shame and everything in between fell over him like a blanket. How could he let his daughter see him like this? He hastily moved over to put your things back into the box, desperately trying to get rid of the evidence of his grief, only stopping as a bit of weight pressed against his back.

“Daddy, it’s okay,” she whispered. He froze, hesitantly turning his head to face his daughter, who rested her head on his shoulder to look at him. “I’m here.”

Of course. That was what _you_ used to say to your daughter whenever she was upset.

_How could he forget?_

Your daughter, she had your nose, your eyes, your silly little habits - when he looked at his daughter, a warmth that he hadn’t felt in a while chased away the pressure on his heart. Wordlessly, he picked up his little girl and placed her on his lap, holding her close to his chest.

You were still here. The love you had for him lived on through the life you had created together.

“Thank you, angel,” he sniffled, finally letting out the tears he had held back for so long.

As long as he had his daughter with him, he knew he’d be okay.


End file.
